The nights are wearing me down

I can no longer sleep without another person in the room. I haven´t slept alone for three weeks and it´s pointless to try to sleep when you can´t fall asleep to the sound of someone breathing. Hardly slept at all last night just because of the awful loneliness. And on top of not sleeping I had to get up at half past six to go to work(?!). Your heard me, I´ve been working today, helping mom at her job at school. It´s dead boring but at least I´ll get some money. Too bad I won´t be getting it until end of August though. But I think I´ll manage.

Walking around in that old school all day really brought back some tough memories. I suddenly remembered all the fighting with all the girls in my class and that stupid whore Linnea. I really hate her for ruining that time of my life for me. When I walked in to my fifth grade classroom I had flashbacks of my parents separation, crying in the bathroom, cutting my wrists for the very first time, being fat, blonde and insecure, the birth of my demons, sitting behind the gym at nights and crying..
And I thought those were the good times.

Going from one thing to another, I hate it when people silently expect you to go everything for them. They don´t say it but you still understand what they want you to do - they want you to forget your own life and to what ever it takes to be good enough for them instead.
I really hate you when you´re doing this you know. I won´t but my life on hold just for you when you can just get on a bus and get it yourself.
No way.

Now I´m depressed, upset and tired so I guess I should try and get some sleep now. Since I have to get up early tomorrow.

Okey, now you make me really angry. You say that you´re almost dying without your freaking medicine and still you can´t get your fat, sorry ass on a bus here to come and get it. You really want me to come and give it to you, don´t you?!
I really don´t care anymore, it´s your freaking problem. And then you get mad at me for not throwing myself on the floor as soon as you ask for it. Sorry, but you could have just thought about the fact that you might die withouth your medicine before I had to practicly run to my bis this saturday.
Tough luck Chuck.

Night ._.