I won´t get used to being gone

I guess some of you have seen the movie Tjenare Kungen? If you have seen it, you know who Abra is - the main character, an how she feels when coming back to the small town she once left to move to Gothenburg. That´s pretty how I feel when I come to Sexdrega, where my mother and my sisters live. This is not my home anylonger and I don´t fit in here.
This place is filled with familys who pretend that they´re happy eventhough they´re not, girls who smile at all the stupid thing that all the stupid, no goodlooking boys tell them.
You know, the stereotyped small town life.
I don´t want that anymore, I don´t think I ever wanted it. Okey, I can´t complain too much about growing up here 'cause that wasn´t too bad, but now I see that this is not what I want in my life. I want something bigger, something better - I do not want to be stuck here for the rest of my life.
That is where you can really see that I´m not like my sisters and brothers, okey two out of four has moved now and I don´t think Sofie will be coming back since she, Daniel and Isabelle is living in Rydboholm, but Emil lives in Borås now but believe me - he is going to move back here someday. Tilda might move too but she´ll come back too. She and Emil, both of them will move back here when they have married and gotten a couple of kids. Sara is more difficult - I haven´t got a clue where she´ll be at in five years, not even in one year. She could be anywhere in the world. Seriously, now that she has been on that travelguide education thing in Spain for a month, she could get a job almost anywhere. She might be gone for months.
And I could hardly stand one month without her.
One thing is certain though, I won´t stay here, and when I leave for real I won´t be coming back. I guess my mother will force me to come back at least twice every year, but I think I could handle that. Christmas and Easter - that´ll have to do.
I haven´t got a clue where I´m going, but it has to be far away from where I am right now, this place gives me the creeps.

I have bigger dreams than this place could ever offer. I want to see the world, I want to know what it´s like.