You can't see how weak you are

Why do you make this so fucking hard for me?!
I'm sick of this, sick of fooling myself, sick of being fooled by everyone else.
Why is it so damn hard to stop loving you when I know darn well that you don't love me anymore? Am I a horrible person? 'Cause that's what you're making me believe. You make me feel unworthy of love. How can it be so easy for you to stop loving me when I can't fool myself to believe that I don't love you for even a second?
I might be fooling you at times, and I try really hard to fool myself. I tell myself everyday that I don't love you anymore, and I tell everyone else too, just to make myself believe it. You make me hate myself, 'cause if you don't love me anymore why should I? What do you think is the reason for me behaving like this? I don't eat, I hardly wake up in the morning, I can't sleep - I can't do anything. Just because you make me feel that I'm not worthy of love. Nothing can make me feel really good anymore.
I don't get it. Why is this so fucking hard for me when it's so freaking easy for you?!
It's just not fair.
What is it about me that makes me so unloved? How come I not deserve to feel good about myself?
I can't do this anymore, I can't waste all my energy on trying to fool myself when I know that it's not working.
It shouldn't be this hard you know..