The silent treatment

You know damn well that you are the only person on this earth who is capable of making me feel this worthless. You know it too well, so you use it to get to me?
This is not me saying I'm sorry for anything - I aint saying that until we've sat down over a cup of coffee or whatever and really talked this over. I can see why you're disappointed in me, but why do you have to make it such a big deal?! You talked to Sid about it, which caused some issues. And then you went to My, and now you've made another of my close friends dislike you. (The other one I was thinking of is Hanna, not that it matters anymore, but you and her hating each other really caused me some headaches)
Okey, I should have told you. But now I didn't, not over a text message or over the phone, 'cause I wanted to sit down and talk to you about it. Since you are my one closest friend I wanted to know what you thought about everything. I trust you. I could give you heart in a paperbag, and I would still not have to worry that something would happen to it.
But I guess that doesn't mean shit to you anylonger.
'Cause you don't reply on my messages anymore.
I guess it's about time I started believing in fate. If we're meant to be friends again, things'll work out.
If not ..
I don't even want to think about 'If not'..

Other than fighting with Klumpen, today has been good. I've been nice to my Mom all day. Haven't been home much, but I've been nice.
Took the 14.43 bus in to Borås. Met Malin on the bus and she made me smile, as always. Then we bought cigarettes and I bought myself a new eyeshadow, since I dropped mine on the floor yesterday.
Then I took the bus up to see Sid. Gosh, he makes me happy. I feel relaxed in his company, even if the thought of not being around him is constantly aching in the back of my head. I miss falling asleep in your arms and to see you lying right next to me when I wake up.
I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but I can't say it enough.
Baby, you make me so happy.

I'm thinking about whether or not I should go to bed.
I wonder what happened to the time when I could stay up 'til four in the morning, sleep for two hours and still manage going to school. Everything felt a bit better then. Somehow.

I'm tired as hell, but I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. This entire fight is haunting me, it makes me feel sick.
Well, goodnight I guess.